Randomness Kenshin style!
by LittLeBLueBLoB
Summary: Random RK stuff! Whatever just pops into my head! Bloopers, one shots, random scenes, you know! Funny stuffs! Ratings and genres will differ, but this is a default:PG-13 for well, stuff, and Humor, because I like funny things, and I like to write them!
1. Outtakes

**Outtakes!!**

Disclaimer: I owneth not. 

--Bathroom Scene--

**TAKE ONE**

Kenshin: No! Don't kill yourself, it isn't worth it- hey where is she?

Director: Where is Kaoru?

Kaoru: [snot bubble]

Director: Arg she fell asleep!

Kenshin: -____- I'm supposed to see her naked now!

Sano: Kenshin, you're so selfish!!

Yahiko: Ew who'd want to see the busu naked?

Kaoru: [snot bubble pops] ARG!!! HENTAIS!!!! [chases everyone around with bokken]

Director: Eugh....cut.

TAKE TWO 

Kenshin: No! Don't kill yourself! It isn't worth-

Kaoru: [looks up from bath] Itai!!

Kenshin: Hubba, hubba!!

Kaoru: Arg!! HENTAI!!! [gets up from bath, pulling bokken from somewhere amongst the water]

Sano: Go little missie!

Megumi: Hentai! [hits on head. Hard.] 

Misao: Does she even know she's...?

Aoshi: [opens one eye and watches naked Kaoru chase around Kenshin]

Yahiko: OW MY EYES!! THEY BURN!! THEY BURRNN!!!

Director: Cut. Kaoru, here's a robe.

Kaoru: [blush]

Kenshin: Hehehe...

TAKE THREE 

Kenshin: No! Don't kill yourself! It isn't worth it-ORO!

Kaoru: [pulls Kenshin into the tub]

Sano: Woah there!!

Hiko: My baka deshi has finally grown up. [wipes tear from eye]

Yahiko, Saitou, Aoshi, Misao, Megumi: [major nosebleed] X__X

Director: ARRRRRGH!! CUT!!!

--When Kenshin says he's going to stay--

Kenshin: Well, I suppose I could stay. But one of these days, you might wake up and find me gone. For I am a wanderer and ... [blahblahblah]

Kaoru: Zzzzz.................. - _________________________-

Kenshin: Hey! Are you listening to me?

TAKE TWO 

Kenshin: ....and I might walk in on you in the bath again...

Kaoru: Oh, good!

--Scene where Sano throws a party because he is leaving to fight with Katsu--

TAKE ONE 

Kaoru: [wasted] I'm good at one thing! But I'd be _oh so_ embarrassed to mention it hereee!

Kenshin: Oro!!

Megumi: That _little girl _can't be as good as me!!

Kenshin: ORO!!

Kaoru: [still wasted] Howzabout I shows you? [drags Kenshin into other room]

Director: [nosebleed] Uhhhh...cut!

TAKE TWO 

Megumi: You didn't steal this did you?

Sano: ...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Haha! Random? Oki till nex time!


	2. What happens when they get drunk!

**When they all get drunk?**

What happens when you take the Kenshin-gumi, and then get them WASTED? Well, now you find out. 

Littleblueblob: {walks up, with a truck full of sake driving behind} Hello, everybody! Have some FREE sake.

Kenshin: Sessha will pass, that he will.....NO! I MUST HAVE SAKE!! [downs about 3 bottles] Hey [hic] where did that [hic] come from [hichichic]?

Littleblueblob: {holds up laptop} mwahahaha.

Sano: ALL RIGHT! FREE SAKE!!!

Saitou: Baka.

Hiko: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! [runs around with arms full of sake]

Kenshin: Sessha thinks you are very eveil, that I do. Sensei does not act so undignified, that he does not.

Littleblueblob: Hmm....he isn't wasted enough. [typetypetype]

Kenshin: Oooooooooooowaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaahoooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooeaaaaah hhhhhhhhhhoooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaa maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooeeeeeee iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii........

Kaoru: Oh my God! You wasted Kenshin!

-=-=-=-

Five hours later, and a bunch of wasted people later

-=-=-=-

Soujiro: Hm? I'm the only one not wasted.

Blob: Arrgh! [types on laptop furiously] Arrgh!! [steam spouts out of head] 

Soujiro: You think you can waste me? Think again!!! Your authoress powers only affect those of the mortal race!! I AM IMMORTAL!! I AM NOT HUMAN!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Blob: Don't think I needed to even waste him. Think he's naturally wasted. Hey...that would explain a LOT.

Soujiro: HEY!

Kaoru: I'm not a raccoooooon I'm not a tanukiiiiiiiiiiii stop looking at me swan!!!!

Kenshin: Wheeee I am Hitokiri Battousai!!! Hey Kaoru you wantsh to see my shword???

Kaoru: Oooookay Kenshin!!

Sano: Yaaah I have a zanbatoooo or what it called? I cant rememberrrrr!!!

Megumi: [passed out]

Saitou: Amateurs. They can't hold their liquor.

Hiko: [nods]

Saitou: Eep! [faints]

Hiko: Hehe...

Misao: [naked and doing yoga in Aoshi's face] Hey Aoshi I don't think you ever seen anything like thish before!!!!!!! 

Aoshi: O.O I see boobiesss!!! I also see....

Blob: WOAH THERE!! {types}

Aoshi: I also see... *****!!!

Blob: Whew! Close one!

Aoshi: [giggling] I see *****!! I see *****!! *****, *****, *****, *****!!!!!!!!!! WHEE!

Blob: Arg! I think that's over. Okay, I can relax now!

Aoshi: PUSSY!!!!!

Blob: EEEEEEEEEEEP!!!! ACK!! [typetype]

Aoshi: ***** and ******s!!!!!   ***** and ******s!!!!! [giggle] *****!!! I LIKE *****!!! ***** TASTY!!

Blob: O____O TOO MUCH INFO!! TOO MUCH INFO!!!!

Aoshi: [gets naked] LOOKie MISAOIE!!!!

Misao: OOOOH!!!

Blob: ARRRRR!!! [typetypetype]

Misao: ****!!! I see Aoshi-sama's ****!!!!! Wheee!!!

Blob: Oh, God!!!

Misao and Aoshi get on the floor and ******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** like crazy!

Soujiro: I AM INVINCIBLE!!!!!!!

Sano: Zanbooty? Zantaboo? Zanaabotot? Booty? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Soujiro: YOU CAN'T WASTE MEEE!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Kenshin: [pulls down pant-things] 

Kaoru: OOH KENSHIN!! I LIKEY YOUR SWORD!!!

Kenshin: ^_____________________^

Kaoru: [takes off shirt] ^________________________^

Kenshin: OOH!! I SEE ******S!!! 

Kenshin and Kaoru get on the floor and ******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** like monkeys.

Blob: I can't keep this up much longer!! [shows fingers, which are smoking, and scorch marks on keyboard] Maybe getting them drunk wasn't such a good idea. [type type]

Everyone passes out. 

Blob: [looks at Misao and Aoshi, then at Kaoru and Kenshin] Ew...that's gonna hurt in the morning... they won't be happy.... Welll....I don't wanna be here when they wake up! Bye! {{disappears}}

Hiko: Amateurs.

Soujiro: I AM INVICIBLE!!!!!!! I AM UN-WASTEABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-=-=-=-=-=-

[cringes] Baiz!!!


	3. The Laundry Song!

Kenshin's Laundry Song 

Laundry, laundry, I like to do the laundry,

It is fun to do the laundry.

When I do the laundry,

I have a lot of fun,

Because it makes the clothes really clean,

And it smells pretty!

And it gets all nice and clean!

Then it all so soapy 

Then it all so wet

Then it all so funny

And I named it Annette!

---

Kaoru: [all pouty] Why doesn't he have a "Kaoru Song"???

----

INCREDIBLY RANDOM!!! JA NE!!!


	4. Spiders rock the socksyou'll see why

**What Spiders Cause.**

_Rated PG-13? PG-14? R? Well, I guess R. Think Sprite. (lemon-lime soda, caffeine free!) Genre, humor, romance I guess. K/K_

---=---

Kaoru sank into the bath deeper, so that you could only see her eyes. _I swear...this dojo has a spider problem. _She shuddered. _Spiders...the very thought of them...ick. _Kaoru had a deathly fear of spiders. If she saw one, she went beserk and couldn't control herself. She would forget everything else, and go crazy until she could no longer see the spider, or until someone killed it. Well, killed it and disposed of the body.

Earlier that evening, when she had prepare to take her bath, she entered her wash-room and had discovered a huge spiderweb, complete with giant black spider, in a corner of her tub. She shuddered at the thought. Kaoru could have sworn the spider leered at her. Well, that's besides the point. Anyways, she motored out of that room ASAP. _Kenshin just left for the market. He shouldn't be home soon. I don't think he'd mind if I used his bath. Plus I'll have plenty of time to take a nice, long bath. _

---=---

Kenshin trudged in. "Hey, back so soon?" questioned Sano. Kenshin took the jug of milk, and poured a glass. _Tea and sake are fine, but milk is the best. _He downed the glass, and set both the jug and glass on a tray.

"Well, the road was closed about halfway through, that it was. Something about 'spider-exterminations' or whatever." He looked around. "Where is Kaoru-dono?"

Sano shrugged. "I think she's in her bath. She was working with Yahiko a lot today. She was kinda smelly." 

Kenshin chuckled. "Well, sessha is all dirty from the road. Sessha will go take a bath, that he will." And he walked off with the tray in hand.  

Kenshin entered his room, set down the tray with the jug of milk and glass on it on a table, and shed his clothing. _Ahh,_ he thought, _It is so nice to be able to just walk around in the nude, after a long day._ He grinned remembering his daily Kaoru-bath-fantasies.

Fantasy 1 

_Kenshin walked into the bathroom. "Oh Kenshin!" cried a naked Kaoru as she flung herself on him. "I've been waiting for this soo long! Please, come with me..." she pleaded as she dragged him to the pallet._

_Fantasy 2_

_Kenshin walked into the bathroom. Kaoru sat on the rim of the tub, stark naked. "Kenshin, you always prepared my bath, so now here is my chance to repay you.." Kenshin got into the tub, and Kaoru began to wash his body all over._

Kenshin smiled inwardly. He knew none of this was possible, for he was too unworthy. _Kaoru-dono deserves one who has a clean slate, without the hundreds of peoples' blood on his hands..._ He sighed. But there was his favorite fantasy...

Fantasy 3 

_Kenshin walked into the bathroom, and to his surprise stood a naked Kaoru, drying herself off. Her eyes widened in shock, and she stammered, "K-Kenshin?"_

Kenshin smiled. This one was more like how Kaoru really would be. But, hey, just getting horny wasn't going to make him clean. _I suppose I do Kaoru-dono a dishonor by daydreaming of such things, _he though as he walked into the bathroom.

--=--

Kaoru got up and grabbed her towel. She dried herself off. As she was drying her hair, Kenshin walked in. "K-Kenshin?"

Kenshin smiled and checked out Kaoru's figure happily. _I'm daydreaming again, but this one is better than the other ones. _[apparently he has had this daydream before]Kaoru held the towel before her. _Arg! Baka wasn't supposed to be home this soon!_ The towel's edge brushed the floor, and unseen, a spider crawled onto it.

Kaoru was having quite a time too. She was, well, looking at his form, too. _He's so sexy with his red hair... Muscled chest, arms, torso, and legs, but not too big muscles...now _ that_. _That_ is great. Just...Itai! Snap out of it, Kaoru!_ She had been staring at Kenshin's...thing...for about twenty seconds before she realized what was going on.

"Kenshin no hentai!" Kenshin froze at this. His fantasy had never said that before. _EEP! This is real! _

"Oro!! Gomen nasai, Kaoru-dono! Sessha did not mean to intrude on you!" But Kaoru's eyes had already grown wide in fright.

"S-Spider!" she uttered, barely a whisper. She flung aside the towel and with a shriek, jumped into Kenshin's arms. Then she blushed deeply. "G-Gomen, Kenshin." They were in a very strange position indeed. Kaoru, with her arms and legs wrapped around a certain rurouni, who had his arms around her back. Both of them in the nude. Very uncompromising indeed. The spider scuttled out from under the towel.

"ITAI!!!" Kaoru crawled higher up on Kenshin, who stumbled back wards. Kaoru shook, and their human tower swayed. Kenshin, trying to regain balance tried walking around. They hit the table, and the milk splashed on various parts of their bodies. They tottered, and fell backwards. Kenshin, with his battousai instincts, knew it would be bad to fall on the hard floor. He'd probably throw out his back! He aimed for the pallet. 

The two landed on the pallet, and struggled to get up, entangling themselves in the blankets. Kenshin found himself on top of Kaoru, with her facing him. Her left leg was still wrapped around his back, her arms clining to his neck. His face was about three millimeters away from her breasts. He pushed himself up, blushing. _ORO! What Kaoru-dono must think of me now! But her face, so flushed, so beautiful. _He felt her body pressed against his, intimately.

Kaoru entwined her fingers into his hair. "Kenshin," she breathed. He dragged himself forward, so that his face was above her own, and their bodies matched up. His chest on hers, his hips against hers, her leg still wrapped around him. She moved her hips a bit, and felt the hard result of her actions. She chuckled as she wiggled them again and moved her chest. "Oh Kenshin," she breathed again, and pulled him in for a kiss. 

Kenshin returned the kiss willingly. He eased his lips over hers, softly, and she opened her moth. He tasted her tounge. They were deep into this kiss, when the shoji slid open. Sano and Yahiko stood there.

"Uhhh we heard a sound and decided to make sure you were...okay, but I guess you are...we'll leave now."  Sanosuke spat out hose words and turned. Yahiko's eyes were wide. 

Well, you can guess how this looks. Kenshin, Kaoru, in pallet, blanket entangled and mussed up. Leg wrapped around, arms wrapped around. Kenshin with a hard one, Kaoru squirming against his chest and hips. Deep in a French kiss. Kaoru's face matted, Both of them breathing heavily, not to mention the _milk_ that was splashed on some places, which did not help the position. Hey, there was even a smear of milk next to her mouth!

"No! It isn't what it seems!" yelled Kenshin, a bit too loudly. Sano and Yahiko raised their eyebrows and walked off.

"Well, Kenshin, since we're in the position anyways..." hinted Kaoru slyly.

Kenshin blanched as he remembered something. "Oro! This unworthy one is unworthy of your-" he was cut off by a kiss from Kaoru.

"Shut up!" Kenshin gave in. To a nice, loooong night.

Kaoru's last thoughts: "Maybe spiders aren't so bad"

---=---

HAHA! SPIDER CONSPIRACY!! [little spider: yeah, we are big fans of k/k!!]

END!

---=---

Well, if you like this, I might repost it as a one shot fic! Kay! Review!!


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